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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A change of schedule

The problem with being a writer and not writing is now there is so much to say.  I graduated from college in July, and aside from work-related writing, my pen has barely touched the paper.  Or, um, rather, my keystrokes have barely made sentences on the screen in front of me.

So here we are.  I want to spend all my time on this blog.  I want to make up for the last seven months of celibacy.  I want to go on a writing rampage. 

Unfortunately, I have a job, as well as after work commitments.  I have filled up my life too full to find the time to write.  I have a feeling that was a bit subconsciously on purpose.  This way, I don't have to miss writing.  But I do.

I now must rearrange my schedule to make the time.  I am currently on my lunch hour, and will type this into the blog when I return. 

Rearrangement seems to be a theme in my life lately.  I am being pulled our of my comfort zone in every possible way.  Part of it, I suppose, is the continual process of growth.  Another part, being out of school for the first time in forever and having the time now for new experiences and people and situations.  The remaining parts...I don't know.  But everything is rearranging.

Not that I am complaining.  It is quite an adventure, this constant rearrangement.  I balk at change.  I keep a schedule.  In fact, I write one out for the week every Sunday night.  Lately, though, there have been a lot of scratched-out spots on that schedule.  That's new.  I used to feel as though I had to keep that schedule at all costs.

The weird part:  I am finding strength in the acceptance of all the change and delight (instead of fear) in saying yes.  The more my rigid schedule gets interrupted and turned around, the more alive I feel.

How unexpected.

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