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Monday, February 7, 2011

Commitments Changing My Shape...

...well, as the title would imply, I have committed myself as of late. No not to the mental institution (those some would argue that would be helpful...), but to others.  And in doing so, have found that I have re-committed to myself.

I would not take any of my decisions back. It has been a roller coaster of a few months, and I have learned many things about myself and those around me.

I have learned that I have the ability to be a better friend than I ever imagined - selfless and loyal, choosing what is right over what will make me feel good.

I have recently had the opportunity to make a decision not based on self. And I did so without hesitation or thought.

I have learned that I do not need to be in the center, I can be on the outside, or standing next to or with someone, and be perfectly perfect.

I have learned that teamwork is better. I have learned that when others are in need of support, my motives are pure.

I have learned that after two days in the snow, I get cabin fever. But after standing outside waiting for the car to defrost and seeing three cars slide backwards down the hill in less than five minutes, I am fine with the couch again.

I have learned that I can stand up for myself, even when my selfish and physical needs will not be met by doing so. It's the mental and spiritual stuff that has become important.

I have learned that I can take time with myself. And that I value that time.

I have learned that letting people in is not always a bad thing. In fact, it's nice to find understanding.

One commitment I let up on is to write. So here we are. I'm writing. I have joined up on the A to Z BLOGFEST to continue and encourage continuation. April is quite a ways off and I have made a shape-shifting commitment. So I shall write until then, and continue then.  That gives me at least of commitment to write, continually, through the end of April.  And it feels good.

Here goes nothin'...

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