...oh, how I wish that were true. I have, however, had three cookies today. Thanks, Melissa's mom.
Today, I've decided to focus on something I know very little and very much about.
I know very little because I hate it. Relationships, ug, require committment. I have been in long-term relationships. I have even lived with people. BUT, I always leave in the end. Before it gets serious. Well, before it gets legal, anyway.
The thought of spending forever and ever with someone creeps me the hell out. I don't know why. Truth be told, it kind of makes my skin crawl a little. And I'm not even Mormon. I don't believe I'll get stuck wtih my family in the celestial kingdom (read: afterlife), but, I do think as long as we both shall live seems like a super long time.
It's not that I don't like being in relationships. I do. I like having someone next to me. I like having a friend who knows all of me, who accepts and loves me the way I am. I like having someone think I'm pretty. And I like thinking and feeling all those things about someone else.
I watch my friends date, get married, have babies, get divorced. Maybe that's some of it. Divorce is P-A-I-N-F-U-L painful. For those involved and those around them.
I am independent. I like my space. I like to go home to my own bed with my own dog and lay diagonal. I like not wondering which toothbrush is mine and if someone else didn't care to figure it out. I don't want to ever have to think about that. It freaks me out. Seriously. Right now I am freaking out just thinking about it.
Saying all this, I don't really sound like much of a catch, do I? I think I am. I can compromise. I can be in relationships. I can give as well as take. Maybe I just haven't found the one yet. I remain hopeful. I doubt it will ever be anything legal, but maybe it will be something that doesn't end because I want to go home and do laundry.
Now, having said all that, I am very committed. To many things. To many people. I have friendships and responsibilities that I take care of on a regular basis that fill my time. I am learning new ones. I am changing my schedule. Sometimes, I am so committed that I forget to make time for me. But that is something I work on routinely. And I am currently working on this.
I have committed to this blog for the month of April. That is exciting.
I am committed to personal time.
I am committed to taking care of myself.
I am committed to being a good friend.
I am committed to take good care of my dog.
I am committed to my job.
I am committed to my family.
I am committed to being helpful.
I am committed to being polite.
One day, maybe they will just committ me.