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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Whiten my teeth with Google Gadgets? Nah, I'll just floss.

Again, I spent some time today reading about how to make this blog great. Today, it wasn't set-up and content and pizzazz. Instead, I was reading about all the dim-witted things Google has to offer.

Really, this started as a search to fix my comment box, which I have to admit, I still can’t figure out. I went through the entire list of gadgets. First of all , that is not a gadget. I love gadgets. I love computers and cell phones and anything techie. I can keep myself entertained with a gadget for hours. These gadgets, these Google gadgets, well, let’s say, I was done in ten minutes.

Here are some of my top picks for ridiculous-ness.

Penguins – cute, little waddling penguins for your homepage. Um, WHAT? Why would I want waddling penguins on my blog???

Chris Brown Clock – has been removed. I had no comment before I read that it had been removed. But, being that it has been removed, I feel a little better about the morals of god Google. My finger is still scratching my head wondering if I would trust Chris Brown to tell me what time it is. And, if I do trust him, why wouldn’t I just look at 1. My wrist, 2. The clock on my desk, or (possibly the one that makes the most sense) 3. The bottom right-hand corner of my computer screen???

Fish – hungry little fish that swim toward your mouse hoping you’ll drop a few flakes of food. So now I have to double-click around fish? Hmmm...No way.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Quotes – Random quotes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I love Harry Potter. So, for those of you who don’t know, Chamber of Secrets is in no way current. And the only thing (other than the revelation of Tom), the only quote that comes to mind is “Mummy, have you seen my jumpa?” (Zoom in on big, embarrassed Ginny-eyes...)

The Daily Puppy – A cute puppy picture each and every day. I love dogs. I love love love dogs! Trust me. No one loves dogs like me. BUT, I don’t want a picture of a stranger’s dog on my computer screen each and every day. This just seems weird.

Latest Avril Lavine Quotes – Um, no thank you.

I have saved the best for last. Seriously, the best.

Teeth Whitening – Daily tips to help brighten your smile.

Here’s a tip. Brush. Floss.

For god’s sake, just brush and floss! Holy god. How many days can you see brush and floss?
I am personally obsessed with flossing. Obsessed.  I have floss stashed everywhere.  I have floss.  I have softsticks.  I have flosspicks.  I have toothbrushes and more toothbrushes.  Yep, I even have a toothpaste dispenser (see right).  (Thanks, Pam!  Best present EVER!)

Ask me why you should floss.  Ask me what it prevents.  And ask me what happens if you don't.  But don't ask if you don't want to know.  Because I will tell you.  And you might not like it.

I do have questions from time to time about my teeth. Do I turn to a blog gadget? No. I call a professional. For crying out loud, people. The buried treasure is only $3.59 at Walgreens, and it isn’t even buried.

If I may, I’d recommend the cinnamon flavor. It rocks!

You’ll hear more about my adventures in flossing in another blog, I’m sure. It makes me so happy.

No, I didn’t find the answer to my comment issue. Check it out. If you know how to make the code go away and the punctuation just show up, let me know. If not, I’ll forgive you. Just remember that Google gadgets are weird and dental floss is the only true way to happy, healthy, WHITE teeth.

1 comment:

  1. I've given up trying to figure most of this blog stuff out. I just know enough to write a word or two and get out.

    The one stupid thing that I am trying to figure out is how to make those Award Medallions smaller....those garish blobs down the left side of my blog. Three people have told me three different things...and I have failed at all three.

    I just realize that I may have lost you as a follower now that you know I'm stupid!