Officially. Out. Of the box.

Never again. I am never going outside my little box again. Never.

Did I mention NEVER?

Remember a few blogs ago, when I said I wanted to clean out my ipod and make room for some new/different tunes? Well that's never going to happen again. From now on, I'll just spend the money and buy a new iPod when the one I have is full. Steve Jobs, you now officially have my soul. I guess you need it, as you sold yours a long time ago...

Let me back up.

This morning, I innocently plugged in my laptop to charge it, preparing for my out-of-box-stepping at lunch. Then, I plugged in the USB for my iPod. Then, a little box shows up (as it always does when I plug in my iPod) “Scan Device or Continue without Scanning”.

So, yeah, you guessed it. I hit the wrong one.

My iPod FORMATTED.

ERASED.

EVERYTHING.

My life is over.

Okay. Not really.

But it felt that way when I clicked on the first playlist to delete and it was empty. Here's the thing. I don't buy my music from iTunes. I get it elsewhere. I don't buy my music from iTunes because I refuse to give my entire soul to Steve Jobs. So, there is no emailing iTunes and saying, “Um, please send me my library because well, apparently, I'm a dumbass.”

So it's back to the drawing board. I still have some music on my hard drive. Thankfully, I am so obsessed with The Beatles that I will never delete them. That's a lot. And I have the entire collection of Simon & Garfunkel, and Paul Simon. I have a couple other random albums stored on my computer. Then, there are my CDs. Unfortunately, there isn't much to do with them, as I haven't bought a CD in over five years. So now, I must go elsewhere.

Mission accomplished, I suppose. I told you that I wanted to clean out my ears and get a fresh start. I did just that. Step out of my box? Check. Big mistake? Double Check.

So, for the next few evenings. I'll be crying over my computer trying desperately to find the music that I was not going to delete. And, though I will not be purchasing them from iTunes, I will utilize the “Genius” function to see it there are any fun titles based on what I have inserted on my newly-empty iPod. Maybe this could be fun!

Later. When it's done. That's when it will be fun.

I will say, I am excited to have three new bands on my iPod. Kelly has given me Vampire Weekend. (You may remember them from my post about the Oxford Comma song.) That song was the only one by them I had, and only because it was about the Oxford Comma. But, I now have two of their albums on my iPod and am excited to hear more from them. Then, there is Marva Wright, a blues singer from Louisiana. I found her through my friend Pam, and this woman can sing the blues like crazy! There's a feeling of being in a smoky bar, maybe in the 50s or 60s, when she is singing. I believe she will bring delight to many of my journeys.  And then there's Lady Antebellum.  Amazing.  Guitar riffs and vocals that will blow your mind.  Thanks, Ric, for the suggestion.  Thanks, all of you, for your expansion of my being.

On that note, if any of you have any suggestions, please send them onward. I am looking to fill my life with my old standards, and find some new ones.   With your comments, I promise to try to find your suggestions and give it a listen.

So much for not ever getting out of my box again.  I think maybe this could be an interesting new path. 
So here's to new beginnings. New journeys.

Dating 101...or How NOT to get a second date with me

So I recently went on a "date".  Many of you who know me know that I do not use "quotes" often.  (I especially hate them, except when they are there for actual "quotes" as in, something someone said. And I extra-especially hate “finger quotes”. But this post isn't about my grammar-superstar status. We'll talk about that another time.) But I use “quotes” here because, well, I'm trying to convince you that though it was technically a date, I would hope I never have a date like that again.
So, back to my evening of, um, my evening of...
I don't even know where to begin here. So I'll just make a list of key pointers, in the event that potential future daters read this and want a leg up in my book.

1. Do NOT tell me about your sword collection. It is not a good way to start off. It does not impress the ladies. It would be better to ask me to join your D&D squad or whatever D&D groups are called. At least that is fictional violence.  I do not like violence.  Of any kind.  Even if it is hanging on the wall.  Or is a collection.  (It seems to me that the word collection should have been in quotes.)
Estimated time of second date: The year 2063.  (I'll be 87, and probably won't remember you have them.)

2. Do NOT tell me that you believe animals were meant to be outside. We live in the city.
Oh, and don't try to explain to me about farm animals, farm dogs, and small town dogs. Don't tell me about living in that life, I'm from a town of 300 people in Nebraska. I get it. I don't need your expertise. I have my own. 
We live in the city. Dogs, cats, pets do NOT belong outside here. Oh, on this note, do NOT tell me that you are a cat person. Date. Over.
Estimated time till second date: The year 2064.  (I'll be 88 and incapable of taking myself to the bathroom, much less a dog.)

3. Do NOT ask me if I have/want kids on the first date. And when I tell you no, I do not have them, do NOT answer “That's impressive.” Based on that statement, these are my questions for you (in no particular order):

* Is it impressive because I am know this about myself and do not care what people think about it?

* Is it impressive that I have a brain that knows how to accomplish what I want (i.e. no kids)?

* Is it impressive that I am this old and have yet to succumb to the tick of some inner-time-bomb-type noise that is in all women, except, apparently, me?
No, none of these points are impressive.  They are facts.  They are the way responsible women who do NOT want kids avoid such a fate. 

And when I tell you I do not want them, do NOT answer “I want a lot of kids.”  Estimated time till second date: The year 2065.  (I'll be 89 and probably incapable of child-bearing.  Therefore, no longer an issue.)


4. Do NOT be an adult and not have a driver's license. I am not a chauffeur or a soccer mom. I will not be dragging your ass around.
Estimated time till second date: The year 2066.  (I'll hit the big 9-0 that year, and probably be too blind to drive.  We'll hire that nice teenager down the street to drive us to the pharmacy and to various doctor appointments, and say embarrassing things to him, such as, "When I was your age, car backseats were bigger and easier to make out in!")

These are just pointers, of course. If you'll excuse me, I must go home and peacefully protest, let the inside dog out, and count my birth control as I praise Jesus for the freedom of being an independent woman in the 21st Century.

Epic Prolouge

I wanted to post this.  Though it is kind of cheating.  It isn't what is going on right now, but something I wrote a few years ago.  It was an essay for an assignment.  But it is about my pen.  My Papermate Flexigrip Medium Blue pen. 

The assignment was write about something you lost.  While my classmates were writing about people dying and other traumatic events, I wrote about the discontinuation of my pen.  Because I'm sappy like that.  Or maybe because I'm sarcastic like that. 

Whatever.  The title of this sad story is Do I Need To Go To Rehab?

I love this pen. My Papermate Flexi-grip blue medium – I cannot live without it. I love the way it writes – like butta. In my hand, it is like inspiration between my fingers.

The only pen I will use. My life is complete with it in my hand, there is nothing else I need. This pen is my OCD. My hand's OCD.

One pen left in the box. It's time to get some more. Drive to the office supply store. Get more, maybe two boxes this time. There are none on the shelf. Ask a sales associate when the next shipment comes in. Wait, what did you say? They don't make them anymore? Wait, what did you say? They have been discontinued????????

Back in the car, driving home, I do not know what to do. My head is spinning. My hand hurts. Withdrawl. Is that what I'm experiencing? Cold sweats and vomit are coming soon, I can feel it.

Get online. Get on the Papermate website. No Flexi-grip blue mediums available. Oh my god. I will never write again.

Go back to the office supply store. Need pen. Need to find a pen. Need some methadone to get me through. I need some food. I need to write. Hold every pen in the store. Feel it. Write something. They all suck. I hate them all. I'm still starving. I still need a pen.

BIC Atlantis blue medium. Clicky pen. You will do. You're no flexi-grip, but you're not a Rollerball, and that's good. You're smooth. Not butta, but maybe apple-butter. You're not perfect, but I'll get the hang of you. You feel like you could inspire. You will have to do.

Until Papermate comes to their senses.

 
OK, here is the good news, Papermate did come to their senses.  They make my pen again!  No more BIC clicky shit pens for me!  And, of course, I have bought them in bulk amounts in case the famine comes again.

Soul Revival

I thought I would try something different. Break out of my little box. I thought I could not be controlling and just let fate take over.

Apparently, I still need some work.

I put my ipod on shuffle.

The first few songs were great. They were songs I hadn’t heard in a while. There were some songs I hear all the time that I really enjoy. This is going to be fun!

Then, a song my ex put on busted through my speakers. Flip.

Chapter 14 of a book. Flip.

A slow song. Flip.

A good song! Ahhhhh…

A song I really wasn’t interested in today. Shit.

Here is what I learned. I have a lot of shit on my ipod. A lot. Of shit. It’s time to do some housecleaning. Ear-cleaning? After all, it is dangerously close to its 30 gigabyte limit. I could make room for new stuff, or rather (since new is not so much my thing), some different stuff.

I am a little crazy about music, which may explain why my ipod is so full of, well, you know what. When I hear a song that I like, I must find out who sings it. Then I must listen to the entire album that song is on. That is how I decide if I truly like the song. A song is a chapter to me. The album is the book.

And, like many books I have read, I read other books by the same author. Likewise, I find as many albums by the same musician and listen to them. In order, just like I read chapters from a book. I feel there is a progression in music. One album relates and grows from the one previous. It is amazing to feel and hear and be inspired by the growth of the artist, to see how far they have come since their last release, the transitions, the risks taken.

Having said all this, there are two randomized playlists on my ipod. One, I am totally getting rid of. It is a mix of hip-hop, rap, and other loud beatbox music that I used to work out to, but no longer do. (Joan Jett has taken that job.) It is just obnoxious at this point in my life. While it was fun to hear some of it in my travels, I am never going to listen to it enough to justify the space it is taking up.

The other playlist is random rock songs. They are like that one line in the Shakespeare play that you love, that totally works in your life, but the idea of reading the whole play to get to that line makes you want to jump off the tallest building you can find. I’m keeping that playlist.

I did, however, find some gems I hadn’t heard in quite a while. How about these apples?

“Coat of Many Colors” by Dolly Parton (This still brings tears to my eyes.)

“Randy Scouse Git” by The Monkees (Why don’t you be like me?)

“Oxford Comma” by Vampire Weekend (For the record, I give a fuck about an oxford comma!)

“The Lemon Song” by Led Zeppelin (Squeeze my lemon…)

“Wish I Was a Kellogg’s Cornflake” by Simon and Garfunkel (I'm a citizen for boysenberry jam fan!)

“She Believes in Me” by Kenny Rogers (Don’t laugh. I’m from Nebraska for christ’s sake!)

"Meet Me in the Dark" by Melissa Etheridge (Anything by Melissa is good for me. And makes me want to give my BFF a big hug.)

And, possibly the biggest treat of the day was hearing “All I Wanna Do” by Sheryl Crow. There are too many good memories attached to that song to even start.)

So, even through the sigh, flip, sigh, flip, I had some goodness. My mind was flooded with happiness and my soul was revived.

I went on a hike today with the woman whom I have been referring to in this blog as “my long-lost dear friend”. I am no longer referring to her as that. It was like no time had passed at all. We talked all day and enjoyed the beauty around us. It was amazing, my heart is filled with gratitude that life is a circle and love conquers time and space. I am privileged enough to experience it all. Long-lost no more! She is now just my dear friend, Olivia. There is less than an hour between us now, not an entire country! And I couldn’t be happier to have her back!

I’d like to thank all the little people…oh yeah, I am the littlest person in the room!

I’m pretty new here. I am still learning my way around, constantly adding and deleting to my layout, and still cannot fix the formatting in my comments.

In spite of my newness (or perhaps because of it), I have been given an award! My long-lost dear friend, Olivia has bestowed a blog award upon me. Honored. I am truly honored.

However, in order to be deserving of said reward, I must do two things.

First, I must pass it along to seven fellow bloggers. That is the easy part.

I feel nervous about the second task. I must reveal seven truths about myself. All at once. For all the world (okay, for the very few of you who read my ramblings) to see. Since I am trying my best to take the fear road of Face Everything And Recover, instead of F&%# Everything And Run, I’m going to put seven truths out there. Maybe you’ll respect me tomorrow anyway. Maybe not. Either way, it was a fun night, eh?

1. Is Ivy Bliss my real name? This is the easy one. Yes. Ivy Bliss, in all its bad-ass-ness is, in fact, my real name. I am not famous, nor do I possess the self-confidence it would take to change my name to something that cool. First name, Ivy. Middle name, Bliss. Last name, irrelevant, unless you are my doctor, work at the DMV, or the bank. My last name is irrelevant because you will not be able to pronounce it or spell it. And it just isn’t as cool.

Buddy Hackett. He is how I got my first name. His daughter’s name was Ivy and my parents met them when they worked at a ski resort in Colorado. Apparently, they had the Lorraine McFly moment, “Ivy, what a nice name.” (okay, she said Marty, but we are talking about me here)

A waitress. That’s where my middle name came from. I am adopted. My parents were on the way to the agency to pick me up and they stopped to eat. Because, the kid can wait, we're hungry! Whatever, mom. Thanks for making me lay in that crib in the orphanage while you noshed on some grub. Back to the story, they had already settled on Ivy, but had yet to come up with a middle name, and their waitress’s name at said restaurant was…yep, you guessed it…Bliss.

So there you go. My name. 

2. I am deeply attached to notebooks and pens. They are my tools for writing. I find it difficult to be creative if I am not hunched over a one subject, wide rule, spiral bound notebook with my medium blue papermate flexigrip pen (the one with the cap, not the clicker) in my hand.  (And usually a cigarette in the other.)

I handwrite all my blogs, then type them in. I hand-wrote every paper I wrote for school, even the ten-pagers. I type later.

Yes, this takes a lot of time. But, it is how I work. I love scratching out mistakes. I love the hurried feeling I get in my wrist when I am in the middle of a great flow. But most of all, I love how my handwriting changes as the words go on.

In spite of all this, I love my computer and wish more people and companies in the world would be paperless. What a friggin’ oxymoron I am!

3. I love to take pictures.  I struggle to find the time to find beauty in my life.  I tend to be hyper-obsessively-focused on my life.  And that makes this difficult.  When I am behind a camera, I feel free.  I have made a committment to myself to take pictures of at least one beautiful thing a month this year.  And by one beautiful thing, I mean a roadtrip (even if just for a day) to see a place I have not seen before, or a place I have been, but not appreciated.

4. I love dogs. I feel more comfortable around dogs than I do most people. I am fortunate to be a house sitter for many people and their dogs. I appreciate the loyalty and unconditional love dogs give and strive to be more like that.  (Yep, that's my dog and me!)

5. I am shy and reserved. All my friends are loud and out-spoken. I am fiercely attracted to outgoing people. I suck at small talk. My theory is that they compensate for me, and others, in turn, think I am great at conversation. As long as I am not responsible for the small talk, I can play along. I feel amped up and more alive when I am with these types of people. It is easier to be social.

I prefer deep conversations, and they come as a result of the small talk sometimes, and that is good.

6. I believe in music and that it heals. In many ways, I believe it has saved me over and over again. The power of music feeds my soul and reinforces my life every day. It brings me to a place I am still hesitant to put into words, but I can feel the sound on my insides, and I internalize the words. 

7. I used to love to write. This blog is my attempt to get that feeling again. So far, it’s working.

Well, I guess that wasn’t so bad. Thanks again, Olivia. You are everything I want to be when I grow up! (If that should ever really happen!) To all the bloggers I bestow this award upon, don’t forget your list and thank you for encouraging me to write on!

Guess I should start typing!

And now for the awards!

http://thatrebelwithablog.blogspot.com/ - My inspiration for starting and continuing this blog. I am glad you are back. We will make time for each other.

http://gentlysaid.blogspot.com/ - Thank you for all your good words. I think we share humor in many ways.

http://murrbrewster.blogspot.com/ - You are funny and wonderful. Thank you for your support and comments.

http://psychedelicsister.blogspot.com/ - Your pictures inspire me to take more of my own and see things others don’t.

http://lizzysends.blogspot.com/ - I have just found you, but I like your style.

http://www.ratherbeblogging.com/ - I love the Fonz, too! ;)

http://jkoyanagi.com/ - You are an amazing talent, and I enjoy every sentence!