Spirituality in 604 Steps

I am no longer a casual hiker. It is official. We started The Canyon Climbers Club this weekend.

Our friends, Mike and Christine, had their engagement party at Amicalola Falls on Saturday. Tara and I talked about it and decided we should get a room to stay and hike on Sunday. After all, Amicalola is on the required hiking list for the club!

Of course, I waited until the last minute to book a room. I always wait until the last minute.  I seem to always think there is more time than there actually is.  (Just ask my friend, Kelly - she will tell you about the panic attacks she has had leading up to our many trips, New York, Florida, etc.  I am not a good plan-ahead type of girl!)  Anyway, this was not the best time to be a no-plan-ahead kind of girl, as a bunch of family came to the party from out of town, and needed rooms and cabins. When I finally called, the nice lady that answered the phone. The conversation went a little like this:


Nice Lady: “I only have one room left. Would you like it?”
Me: “YES! Er, yes, ma'am, please.”
Nice Lady: “It's a king bed, on the first floor. The view is nice.”
Me: “PERFECT! Er, okay, thank you very much.”
Nice Lady: “You really lucked out. We are booked for the whole weekend, even the cabins are all full.”
Me: (Thinking: 'I KNOW! My friend is having an engagement party and I'm a dumbass for not booking this shit earlier!!!') Speaking, “Wow, that's great. Thank you so much.”

We got a room. Barely. Thank god!

Saturday morning, we begin the drive up. After a few obligatory stops on the way, we are headed north. In the car, with coffee, smokes, and conversation, we are headed out to celebrate with friends and then on to conquer a goal feels amazing.

Saturday was gorgeous. There could not have been a better day for an outdoor party. The music, as always, was rockin'. The scenery was great. Good food. I met lots of great people and laughed a lot. We had a couple hours between the band's final song and the bonfire. Tara and I decided to try our luck at finding a Starbucks. The GPS said it was only 6 miles away. WRONG. It was 26 miles away. Not 26 highway or city miles...26 COUNTRY miles. We were late for the bonfire. It didn't matter. It was fun. And worth every minute!

Sunday morning, we woke up to pack and meet Pam and Ric in the dining area for breakfast before our big hike. Ahhh...the hike. 604 Steps up. And then down. Two miles total. But a strenuous two miles it will be. We took a lot of stopping breaks. Water, pictures, sit down. Water, pictures, sit down. Hike. Hike. Hike.

But, oh, the journey is well worth it! The waterfall is a sight to see. It is amazing to see this beauty up close and personal from all angles and levels! We reveled in every moment. There were silly pictures and fun pictures, pictures alone and pictures together. There are pictures without any of us in them – the beauty around us too great for human tainting.

There were times when we split off from each other, Pam and Ric enjoying the moment together, Tara and I enjoying...and other combinations of the four of us. Even times when we were all somewhat separated – just enjoying this in our own spiritual way. Together and alone, we all felt something that powerful.

I deeply enjoy the conversations that happen on the trail. It has been my experience (even though I'm not a seasoned hiker) that, though I may already know the person I'm with, a conversation on a trail is much more intimate and personal than in the outside world. It opens people up and brings them together. There is a sense of unity, of wholeness that takes place there.

Once we reached the top, we were suddenly invigorated. Our exhaustion lifted some, and the joy of the climb filled our lungs and our beings. Walking down, the lyrics were light, our hearts filled with pride. The other side of the waterfall is earth and woods, with berries and trees and nature. We even saw a couple buzzards overhead. Nature in all its wonder.

Once in the air conditioning of the visitor's center (ahhhhhhhhh...air conditioning!), Tara and I got our first punch on the Canyon Climbers Club Cards, and Pam and Ric bought their own membership! They will be hiking the other three trails along with us!

More spiritual expierences are sure to come, as they did Sunday.

In order to see me, you must...

...floss.  At least once.  EVERYDAY.
...bathe.  At least once.  EVERYDAY.
...like music.  On the regular.  And live.
...be responsible for yourself.
...read.  Not just know how, but enjoy it.

...love dogs.  They will always be around.

...NOT have small children.  Or an ex-wife who has been an ex- for less than two years.

...NOT drink to the point of stupidity. 

...like to hike.  But I do not camp.

...not be some psycho-jealous-everyone-I-hug-or-kiss-on-the-cheek-is-a-threat-to-you type. 

...be goal-oriented.

...like to socialize.  With my friends, your friends, all people.

...like to just hang out in silence.

...be smart.

...eat healthy.

...enjoy junkfood.  Sporatically.

...like sports.  Playing and watching.

...be an adult. In actions.

...enjoy goofing off.

...like adventure.
...respect my independence. 

I'm making this list.  This is the beginning of it.  I've decided that it would be a fun little experiment to join a dating site.  Instead of filling out the "About Me" section, I'm going to make it "About You".  About all the things YOU, potential dater, should be.  And if YOU happen to be all these things (and more, of course!), I may consider going to meet you for coffee.  Oh, there's another thing...Must respect and enjoy coffee.  Both inside and outside of the home.  Because I am fiercly addicted to Starbucks.

I think this could be a fun time.  I will first ask the potential (as that is what I have decided to term these un-named, faceless men) to read this list.  If they find a few things on here that are them, they can move on.  If they find themself in every line, then, yes, definitely contact me.  I am tired of wasting my time with people who I want to change, who want me to change them, who are in no way compatible with me, who believe that flossing is not important (notice where it is on the list?  It is important!).

I haven't decided which dating site to attack yet, but that's my next step.  For now, I'm trying to add to this list, I want it to be as complete as possible, I am not wasting anymore time. 

On a sidebar, I am not negative or bitter.  I am just completely at a loss as to why there are so many great guys out there that are great for other people.  I am intensely picky.  And I spend a lot of time in relationships trying to fix things I knew about going into the relationship, and that should not be the case.  I want flaws to be cute and small.  Not big and glaring. 

Whether this works or not, we shall see.  But I'm going to give it a go.  I think the best part of all this is knowing that I'll know if they are lying right away and can get up and leave.  And if they aren't lying, I'll meet some cool people who I have a lot in common with.

Soul Revival

I thought I would try something different. Break out of my little box. I thought I could not be controlling and just let fate take over.

Apparently, I still need some work.

I put my ipod on shuffle.

The first few songs were great. They were songs I hadn’t heard in a while. There were some songs I hear all the time that I really enjoy. This is going to be fun!

Then, a song my ex put on busted through my speakers. Flip.

Chapter 14 of a book. Flip.

A slow song. Flip.

A good song! Ahhhhh…

A song I really wasn’t interested in today. Shit.

Here is what I learned. I have a lot of shit on my ipod. A lot. Of shit. It’s time to do some housecleaning. Ear-cleaning? After all, it is dangerously close to its 30 gigabyte limit. I could make room for new stuff, or rather (since new is not so much my thing), some different stuff.

I am a little crazy about music, which may explain why my ipod is so full of, well, you know what. When I hear a song that I like, I must find out who sings it. Then I must listen to the entire album that song is on. That is how I decide if I truly like the song. A song is a chapter to me. The album is the book.

And, like many books I have read, I read other books by the same author. Likewise, I find as many albums by the same musician and listen to them. In order, just like I read chapters from a book. I feel there is a progression in music. One album relates and grows from the one previous. It is amazing to feel and hear and be inspired by the growth of the artist, to see how far they have come since their last release, the transitions, the risks taken.

Having said all this, there are two randomized playlists on my ipod. One, I am totally getting rid of. It is a mix of hip-hop, rap, and other loud beatbox music that I used to work out to, but no longer do. (Joan Jett has taken that job.) It is just obnoxious at this point in my life. While it was fun to hear some of it in my travels, I am never going to listen to it enough to justify the space it is taking up.

The other playlist is random rock songs. They are like that one line in the Shakespeare play that you love, that totally works in your life, but the idea of reading the whole play to get to that line makes you want to jump off the tallest building you can find. I’m keeping that playlist.

I did, however, find some gems I hadn’t heard in quite a while. How about these apples?

“Coat of Many Colors” by Dolly Parton (This still brings tears to my eyes.)

“Randy Scouse Git” by The Monkees (Why don’t you be like me?)

“Oxford Comma” by Vampire Weekend (For the record, I give a fuck about an oxford comma!)

“The Lemon Song” by Led Zeppelin (Squeeze my lemon…)

“Wish I Was a Kellogg’s Cornflake” by Simon and Garfunkel (I'm a citizen for boysenberry jam fan!)

“She Believes in Me” by Kenny Rogers (Don’t laugh. I’m from Nebraska for christ’s sake!)

"Meet Me in the Dark" by Melissa Etheridge (Anything by Melissa is good for me. And makes me want to give my BFF a big hug.)

And, possibly the biggest treat of the day was hearing “All I Wanna Do” by Sheryl Crow. There are too many good memories attached to that song to even start.)

So, even through the sigh, flip, sigh, flip, I had some goodness. My mind was flooded with happiness and my soul was revived.

I went on a hike today with the woman whom I have been referring to in this blog as “my long-lost dear friend”. I am no longer referring to her as that. It was like no time had passed at all. We talked all day and enjoyed the beauty around us. It was amazing, my heart is filled with gratitude that life is a circle and love conquers time and space. I am privileged enough to experience it all. Long-lost no more! She is now just my dear friend, Olivia. There is less than an hour between us now, not an entire country! And I couldn’t be happier to have her back!

Re-start. Re-write. (to start again. to write again.)

Here is a note I wrote on Facebook.  The comments from my friends started the itch to re-start this blog.  Encouragement is a great motivator!  Thank you, my friends, for starting me up again.

A new kind of morning
(orginially written on Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 11:32am)

I don't write notes. I fill out stupid questionnaires to pass time. But today, I'm writing a note. I don't have much time to pass, so I'm not filling out a questionnaire. Even though I don't have a lot of time to pass, I need to make the time to write this.

I had a dream last night. I don't know what it was, really. I don't remember it. But I woke up this morning with this incredible sense of urgency.

Back up. I usually wake up with an incredible sense of panic, because (once again) I have only enough time for the quickest shower possible, coffee, work, with very little room for error (and by error I mean a red light, school bus, or someone who can't seem to comprehend the speed limit). I'm always running behind, always in the morning, so I start most all my days in a state of panic.

Today was different. I woke up, as I said, with this inexplicable urgency. But wait, what does that clock say? I blinked. I didn't believe it. It said I had ten more minutes in my day than I did yesterday. No panic? How on earth will I motivate myself without that sick feeling in my gut?

What is urgency? What does it feel like? How is it different than panic? That, I am sorry to say, I cannot tell you. Feelings are hard to describe. But it was a calm start to my Wednesday. While showering, I had several thoughts.

One: I need to talk to Pam on my way to work.

Two: What was that dream? What was it? Dark Greens and Bright Blues and this amazing color I've only seen in the Florida sunset.

Three: No Reds? No reds in my dream? That's weird.

Four: Don't forget the bag with my workout clothes in it.

Five: I love water pressure.

Six: This is weird. Not rushing through this shower feels nice.

Seven: Don't forget the bag with my workout clothes in it.

Eight: Need coffee.

Nine: Why don't I feel panicky?

Ten: I feel like today is going to be a good day.

Eleven: DON'T FORGET THE BAG WITH MY WORKOUT CLOTHES IN IT!

In the end, though, it is now nearly 11:30 a.m. Still no panic. That has made me a little nervous. But, I am enjoying this day. Full of urgency and promise, I am productive in a calm way. That was described to someone not even an hour ago as a “slow start”, but I am realizing as time has gone by that it is not a slow start, but a start of the not rushed, the not insane, in short – a start that is normal. Normal for others, I guess. As I rolled into work on time (having both talked to Pam and got coffee) and felt the promise of this day, there was a feeling of calm, not worry.

Everything will get done today. Because I will continue to work. I am urgent about my work. That doesn't mean I have to be crazy and feel a knot in my gut. Maybe that's the difference.

Oh, and I remembered the bag with my workout clothes in it! :)

I like it.