In order to see me, you must...

...floss.  At least once.  EVERYDAY.
...bathe.  At least once.  EVERYDAY.
...like music.  On the regular.  And live.
...be responsible for yourself.
...read.  Not just know how, but enjoy it.

...love dogs.  They will always be around.

...NOT have small children.  Or an ex-wife who has been an ex- for less than two years.

...NOT drink to the point of stupidity. 

...like to hike.  But I do not camp.

...not be some psycho-jealous-everyone-I-hug-or-kiss-on-the-cheek-is-a-threat-to-you type. 

...be goal-oriented.

...like to socialize.  With my friends, your friends, all people.

...like to just hang out in silence.

...be smart.

...eat healthy.

...enjoy junkfood.  Sporatically.

...like sports.  Playing and watching.

...be an adult. In actions.

...enjoy goofing off.

...like adventure.
...respect my independence. 

I'm making this list.  This is the beginning of it.  I've decided that it would be a fun little experiment to join a dating site.  Instead of filling out the "About Me" section, I'm going to make it "About You".  About all the things YOU, potential dater, should be.  And if YOU happen to be all these things (and more, of course!), I may consider going to meet you for coffee.  Oh, there's another thing...Must respect and enjoy coffee.  Both inside and outside of the home.  Because I am fiercly addicted to Starbucks.

I think this could be a fun time.  I will first ask the potential (as that is what I have decided to term these un-named, faceless men) to read this list.  If they find a few things on here that are them, they can move on.  If they find themself in every line, then, yes, definitely contact me.  I am tired of wasting my time with people who I want to change, who want me to change them, who are in no way compatible with me, who believe that flossing is not important (notice where it is on the list?  It is important!).

I haven't decided which dating site to attack yet, but that's my next step.  For now, I'm trying to add to this list, I want it to be as complete as possible, I am not wasting anymore time. 

On a sidebar, I am not negative or bitter.  I am just completely at a loss as to why there are so many great guys out there that are great for other people.  I am intensely picky.  And I spend a lot of time in relationships trying to fix things I knew about going into the relationship, and that should not be the case.  I want flaws to be cute and small.  Not big and glaring. 

Whether this works or not, we shall see.  But I'm going to give it a go.  I think the best part of all this is knowing that I'll know if they are lying right away and can get up and leave.  And if they aren't lying, I'll meet some cool people who I have a lot in common with.

Whiten my teeth with Google Gadgets? Nah, I'll just floss.

Again, I spent some time today reading about how to make this blog great. Today, it wasn't set-up and content and pizzazz. Instead, I was reading about all the dim-witted things Google has to offer.

Really, this started as a search to fix my comment box, which I have to admit, I still can’t figure out. I went through the entire list of gadgets. First of all , that is not a gadget. I love gadgets. I love computers and cell phones and anything techie. I can keep myself entertained with a gadget for hours. These gadgets, these Google gadgets, well, let’s say, I was done in ten minutes.

Here are some of my top picks for ridiculous-ness.

Penguins – cute, little waddling penguins for your homepage. Um, WHAT? Why would I want waddling penguins on my blog???

Chris Brown Clock – has been removed. I had no comment before I read that it had been removed. But, being that it has been removed, I feel a little better about the morals of god Google. My finger is still scratching my head wondering if I would trust Chris Brown to tell me what time it is. And, if I do trust him, why wouldn’t I just look at 1. My wrist, 2. The clock on my desk, or (possibly the one that makes the most sense) 3. The bottom right-hand corner of my computer screen???

Fish – hungry little fish that swim toward your mouse hoping you’ll drop a few flakes of food. So now I have to double-click around fish? Hmmm...No way.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Quotes – Random quotes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I love Harry Potter. So, for those of you who don’t know, Chamber of Secrets is in no way current. And the only thing (other than the revelation of Tom), the only quote that comes to mind is “Mummy, have you seen my jumpa?” (Zoom in on big, embarrassed Ginny-eyes...)

The Daily Puppy – A cute puppy picture each and every day. I love dogs. I love love love dogs! Trust me. No one loves dogs like me. BUT, I don’t want a picture of a stranger’s dog on my computer screen each and every day. This just seems weird.

Latest Avril Lavine Quotes – Um, no thank you.

I have saved the best for last. Seriously, the best.

Teeth Whitening – Daily tips to help brighten your smile.

Here’s a tip. Brush. Floss.

For god’s sake, just brush and floss! Holy god. How many days can you see brush and floss?

I am personally obsessed with flossing. Obsessed.  I have floss stashed everywhere.  I have floss.  I have softsticks.  I have flosspicks.  I have toothbrushes and more toothbrushes.  Yep, I even have a toothpaste dispenser (see right).  (Thanks, Pam!  Best present EVER!)

Ask me why you should floss.  Ask me what it prevents.  And ask me what happens if you don't.  But don't ask if you don't want to know.  Because I will tell you.  And you might not like it.

I do have questions from time to time about my teeth. Do I turn to a blog gadget? No. I call a professional. For crying out loud, people. The buried treasure is only $3.59 at Walgreens, and it isn’t even buried.

If I may, I’d recommend the cinnamon flavor. It rocks!

You’ll hear more about my adventures in flossing in another blog, I’m sure. It makes me so happy.

No, I didn’t find the answer to my comment issue. Check it out. If you know how to make the code go away and the punctuation just show up, let me know. If not, I’ll forgive you. Just remember that Google gadgets are weird and dental floss is the only true way to happy, healthy, WHITE teeth.